User blog:SophisticatedShark/Wiki Christmas Day 8: Santa vs Satan - Bad Rap Battle Suggestions
Hey, what's up everyone. Happy holidays I guess. So this battle is for the Wiki Christmas thing. Check out everyone else's battles, they're pretty baller. In other news, there's a change of gears. I'm making this battle the penultimate and the next one the finale. I'm trying to write a mixtape right now and I kind of want to get this battle stuff out of the way. Will it be the last BRBS? Maybe not, but I'll be on hiatus for a while. Enough with bad news though, here's the battle. It's everyone's favorite holiday symbol versus the root of all evil: Santa vs Satan Beat BAD RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY SATAN VS SAAANTAA CLAAAAUSS BEGIN! 'Santa Claus: '(0:11) Let me show you how we throw it down here in the North Pole Forgo the goose and the roast and let’s serve a Christmas goat So just try to light your brimstone in my kingdom of snow You can kiss my ass like my rump’s below the mistletoe In one go, I’ll beat your ass in one night, quickly Cause I go down on this Grinch faster than if he was a chimney So here’s a present, maybe it can ease the presence of your rejection Because I guess it hurt you pretty bad when you fell down from heaven 'Satan: '(0:30) Ho, ho all you want, you bourgeoisie bloat candy-coated But we’ll see who’s still laughing once your chestnuts have been roasted You're giving bad people rocks while I’m tormenting their fucking souls Well ol’ Nick will be so pressured that I'll spit diamonds from your coal I'm Lucifer. A brutal sir. To duel won't end well Cause what's your workshop full of elves against the armies of Hell? I’ll sever all your reindeer, then leave all of your trees blazed Then leave this gumdrop so red that he should guide his own sleigh 'Santa Claus: '(0:50) You’re pretty tense, I’m guessing that comes from the neglection from your father But man, I’ve got raps that burn you like a verbal holy water This Christmas, you’re finished. Dissed to the bottom of my list You might go by many names, but they all can be summed up with “prick” 'Satan: '(1:00) They should’ve sent Krampus to not cramp up on the mic I'm on point like my horns, and that’s not just me talking pride You should put on your little wishlist for you to spit some decent raps So don't lecture me about being nice with naughty children on your lap 'Santa Claus: '(1:10) Ugh, suffering your raps is like your ultimate penance You’re not tough; God’s feats make your look like Dennis the Menace But now this saint is marching in to simmer this sinning snake Spit more bitter than winter, left stiffer than fruitcake 'Satan: '(1:20) Why of course I'm full of sin, but you're the one who's disgusting me I mean just look at yourself, you're the epitome of gluttony You’ve got the beard of Uncle Si, and the face of a wookie I'll shove these bars right down your throat, provided no milk and cookies 'Santa Claus: '(1:30) When they said I’d face a fallen angel, I thought you’d be more scary But your nickname is quite misleading, you’re hardly an adversary And I've also read the Bible, you're not as evil as you claim You only killed like ten people dude, your dad left way more slain I'm a symbol of holly jolliness and holiday cheer You're the symbol of virgin burning and irrational fear People celebrate me over your brother being born, brah Call me Charlie Daniels, send the devil running back to Georgia 'Satan: '(1:50) So it seems that Tim Allen wants to step up to armageddon I’m the reason why your shit list even has a naughty section I’m the emperor of darkness, you’re the king of shits and giggles Try to deal with the devil and you’ll get played like a fiddle It’s no riddle. I’m the rebel that no culture should ever settle You’re no fettle with no mettle. I’m leaving this egg deviled So I’ll be seeing you in hell, because I’ve finished this battle Fuck Mrs. Claus, go take a bite out of these two apples WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? ' ' YOU DECIDE!!! BAD RAP BATTLES OF HISTOORRRY Who won? Santa Claus Satan Category:Blog posts